Sunday, 29 January 2017

Another new year begins

The world doesn't seem right when someone you love leaves it. Yes, death comes to everyone, touches everyone and life goes on, but it's SO unbelievably difficult for those still alive. Grief. Loss. Loneliness. Mourning. Sadness. I've read about the stages of grief. Three, five, seven. All about how we all grieve in our own way. How time heals. How it gets better. What can I say> Apart from "Not too great so far!" Yes I cope. I'm trying really hard to get on with my life. I'm so grateful for my sons who make life worthwhile. I have wonderful friends who help. I try not to look back too much. I try to be positive. My emotions have always been close to the surface. I laugh easily and cry easily. Anger flares up and goes just as quickly. I can't bottle things up. I know that it’s important to remember that you are not your emotions — you have the ability to decide if they lead you or if you lead them. So I seek out happy moments. I plan for good times. Things may not be going the way Tom and I planned (and oh how we planned!) but I'll still travel, and enjoy retirement in as many ways as I can. Tom's lovely cousin Penny died last night. I managed to visit her last week. She was amazing. She knew she was in the process of dying and was extremely happy to have so many people who loved her coming to talk and spend some time with her. She told us if anyone could have a perfect death, then this was it. We read poetry. We sang songs. We laughed. We cried. Tom loved her and she talked a little about how much she loved him too. What's not to love about either of them? They spread love and kindness, laughter and wisdom. Love lives on.